Bored? Miserable? Enstranged?.... well, fuck, get over it.... whiner. Chances are, your life is just peachy and wonderful, but you're refusing to acknowledge that little detail through the veil of bullshit you all know and love. And now that I have softened you up by shattering your sense of complacent expectancy that you were probably experiencing when you came to look at this blog, it is the perfect time for me to impose my life lessons on you (hooray for CIA brain washing tactics). If you feel bored, or depressed, or malcontent, or dependent, then there is a slim chance that you actually have a perfectly valid reason for feeling such. Then, there is also a very strong possibility that you're just sitting around wallowing in self pity, waiting for some knight in shining armour (or some Parisian prostitute in fishnets) to rescue you. Two things: one, you have no real problem to speak of. Two, chances are you feel like shit because you wish you did have some sort of problem to pepper your day with meaning and drama. People love drama; it gives them the feeling that they're struggling towards some kind of percievable goal, thus making their lives seem meaningful. In short; they bury themselves in shit with the belief that upon tunneling their way out, there will be some shiny, grand thingy awaiting them on the surface. You're not gonna find a shiny thing. You're just gonna end up with shit in your teeth. That's gross. Do not eat metaphysical shit. Or literal shit for that matter.
Ok, my philosophy is such: There is no meaning... enjoy it while you can. Some may be troubled by this philosophy, but look at it in retrospect, just for the sake of having something to muse over this evening. If life has no meaning, then that means that we have no obligation to fullfill some grand scheme, and can instead simply focus on enjoying ourselves (on the flipside, you could ssay that enjoying ourselves is the grand scheme, but I digress). It's pretty relieving in my opinion; life is short, make the most of it. I have no idea whether or not there is an afterlife, as I have never died before. I would be positively thrilled if there was an afterlife, but I'm not going to spend my life relying on that fact in hopes that I will be eternally rewarded. No, I'm not saying "Alright everyone! Now we can spend our lives pillaging and murdering because nothing matters anyway!", I'm simply saying that I find life more enjoyable when I live it for the sake of my own honest contentment. And contentment is different for everyone; for instance, maybe what makes you happiest is making other people happy, that's great! Or maybe you like to just amble through the world simply enjoying the scenery, or maybe you like to take things apart or put things together or just paint the walls of your kitchen, then lie on the floor and recite poetry. Whatever works for you, that's fine. If you know what you like to do, do it. Be forewarned though, sometimes your contentment interferes with other people's contentment, and as such they will work to keep themselves happy regardless of you. So, if you burn an orphanage because it makes you happy, other people are gonna get you thrown in a dark room forever, because frankly, they just can't be happy when you're happy. If you were that kind of person, I would not be happy when you're happy. Please don't burn orphanages. That's fucked up.
Sorry, I had a point when I started typing this post, but I got kinda carried away in my philosophical shitstorm. I was going to provide you dear, patient readers with a recipe for a good day(a good day as defined by Alex). Ok, now I firmly believe that the first hour of your day greatly affects your mindset for the rest of the day. So, in order to havee an interesting day, I try to make the first hour of my day riddled with the unexpected. Usually I make preperations the night before, so the day starts interestingly the moment I wake up. The night preceding, I like to write random phrases on my hands and feet, wear something interesting to bed, and fall asleep in an odd place and position. That way, you wake up wondering why you're upside down in an armchair and dressed in a tuxedo. Then when you reach for the door handle of your room or the orange juice in your fridge, you notice that your hands are covered with bad limericks; this makes far better reading material that the morning newspaper, especially when, to your delight, your feet have been similarly covered in limericks. Then, music... something that fits the moment. Then, make breakfast, and I mean MAKE breakfast... like waffles or omelettes or something. When you make breakfast, never make it conventionally; make your waffles green or your omelettes purple (food coloring). When you get around to eating breakfast, eat it outside, in the grass, in a tree, on a rock, I don't care (oh, and if you have leftover waffles, they make great frisbees, so don't throw them away). This should comsume the first hour or so of your day and make adventure ripe for the pickin'. Speaking of exciting days, I've wasted an hour of mine typing this shit... I'm off! Alex Petersen, signing off.
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