I Don't Fucking Know... Just Read It

...I dragged myself through the tall grass, my legs trailing uselessly behind me; the soil drenched with the blood of my fallen comrades, while the flaming village sent billowing tendrils of smoke coiling into the night. That's when I came to the top of the hill, and beheld a sight that would haunt me for the rest of my days.....bears....so many bears...their party hats pointed to the sky, as if in defiance of the heavens. Then, with their AK-47's slung across their backs, they hauled off the last of their prisoners and mounted their unicycles. And as they rode off into the night, presumably back to Canada, I descended the hill, leaving my innocence with the smoldering remains of that now skeletal village... and that's how I saved Christmas!