If at this exact moment, you are wearing a fedora whilst playing guitar... then I hate you. I'm sorry, I'm not even entirely sure why; it's just one of those weird little unexplainable laws of the universe... like why toothpaste makes everything terrible. If I meet you, and you're wearing a fedora, then you automatically start out in a 50,000 units of approval debt. If I already know and like you, and witness you in such a situation, then my opinion of you as a human being is lowered until you get your shit together and extract yourself from such a hideous state. Maybe not lowered significantly, but just know that when you are wearing a fedora, I like you less. If you are also playing a guitar, then I'm scribbling out your face in any pictures that show us in each others company.
Sincerely,
~Take Off that Fucking Hat
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