LEEEEEEEERRROOOOOOY JJJJJEEEENNNNNKKIINNNNS!!!!!!

I am fuckin' ready for this shit! Today I am feeling happy, and me being happy entails a/an (un)healthy ammount of explosions, paint on the walls, and police telling me to get off of the roofs of public retail establishments. I had been in a sort of mopey funk for the past week or so, but this morning I woke up and thought to myself, "Hmm... I think today I'll testicle punch depression for the next 24 hours, singing and dancing all the while." And that, dear readers, is EXACTLY what I intend to do. Today, the world will quake with fear before the happy, foaming, manic-insane smile that I will be wearing all day. I haven't the slightest fucking clue as to why I woke up so inexplicably happy; my guess is that either I had a nice dream, and the remenants of its sweet dream meats are still embedded in my subconcious, or I've been snorting cocaine in my sleep again (note: sleepwalking down to Haley St. at midnight is never a good idea). Whatever the reason, I intend to take full advantage of this whirlwind fuckstorm of happiness. I will go out, do shit, and reap the sweet, sweet rewards of my efforts... even though those rewards will probably be either a squadron of underage Irish prostitutes, a night in the penitentiary, or a bowl of lime jello (it's odd, but a suprisingly large ammount of situations in my life seem to end with lime jello). Well, it's about time I should be heading out to wreak havoc. My rucksack, hat, mandolin, and life size wearable big daddy drill (for you dear Bioshock nerds) are waiting by the door, ready to be put to good use. Alas, I would stay here and continue typing to you darling readers, but as you well know, the day isn't going to testicle-punch itself, and requires my immediate and unwavering assistance in doing so. THERE WILL BE BLOOD! THERE WILL BE BEARDS! THERE WILL BE FREE REFRESHMENTS! LET'S DO THIS SHIT!